still figuring it out

I am vapor right now.

Unknowingly, while trying to adult, I have reduced myself (note: not self worth, but just self) into nothing but an empty shell trying to make ends meet. Who knew that adulting could be such a bitch? Who knew that trying to be responsible, and yet at the same time holding on to certain values and ethics can be such a challenge? Who knew that balance never happens? So much for being a Libra, I have zero balance. Recently, I can't even walk without tripping.

I want to read. I need time. I want to sip on caffeine and devour a good book that will take me somewhere else and let me be someone else.

My mind is blocked. I have zero mind progression. I'm stuck in this whirlwind of mental deterioration. I'm a fucking house of cards in a hurricane.

I've probably said it before, but I cannot emphasise any further how much this actually sums up my life, thoughts, and current state of my being:

I want to save the fucking world but I can't even save my fucking self.