Heard it all a million times.

Just like the holidays, some things are almost over.

Some people are meant to fall in love, and never end up together.

I chanced upon something in my head today while moping around in my room because of the overwhelming exposure to people and fyp, and I thought that it'd be nice to just share this over here before I drown in my own blood for this remaining week of FYP.

On the plus side, I had a few good moments and perhaps I'll upload more pictures once I'm done with this shit - it's like constipation, but maybe more like constipation in a cockroach infested toilet cubicle that has doors that are a little far from reach.

When you're gone - which is soon, by the way. I can feel it because my mind and body reacts pretty well to impending doom that I've been feeling it since the start of the day one. The irony would be that nobody really knew when was day one. But since it's gonna end, it doesn't really matter when did it start - but rather when will it end.

Soon.

So, when you're gone, these are things that I'll do:

1. Chop off my hair
2. Messy-dip-dye it with unicorn colors
3. Start up a movement
4. Do up my portfolio (web/print) proper
5. Tan it up
6. Go for a beach party
7. Switch my smartphone to a normal phone
8. Deactivate facebook (for awhile)
9. Finish 1 book per week
10. Buy a classical guitar
11. Apply for the next intake at an overseas university
12. Gym all day, errday
13. Not talk about you to people
14. Wear heels and dresses
15. Be pretty all day, errday
16. Draw things that reminds me of you and make it into a publication
17. Go for a concert
18. Watch all the movies that we said we would together
19. Never ever bake oreo brownies again (till:02 May 2015)
20. Get drunk and wasted
21. Bawl my eyes one last time for you
22. Tell people I like girls
23. Never highfive anybody
24. Dislike everything you like
25. Delete your number in my phone
26. Delete all of your pictures in my phone
27. Go on a date with this other guy who has been there throughout what we had
28. Chance upon a song that reminds me of you
29. Memorise it,
30. Play it well on guitar,
31. Record it, and upload to youtube
32. Never have friends over
33. Lose 5kg in whatever way
34. Wear all the clothes that you once said I look good in and then sell/throw/donate them off
35. Get a tattoo 
36. Forget to eat meals and forget about remembering them
37. Delete our whatsapp convo
38. And all of your pics and videos in my phone
39. Never ever paste stickers on my phone
40. Create another list and swear by it

Only know your lover when you've let her go

And you
let
her
go

Running Playlist

Since the end of this semester, I solemnly swore to myself that I have to adopt a healthier lifestyle if I ever want to travel to the moon and carve my initials on its surface. So, I decided on running - running consistently.

It's hard to continue the runs because it is not exactly the most fun thing to do after a long day of work, and I usually run alone, which is not exactly the most motivating thing when you're already dead tired. I try to clock in a minimum of 2.4km each time I run, and compare it with my previous 2.4km timings I had when I was in JC and was so much more active. And occasionally, I'd join races with a cause.

But yeah, as much as I LOVE doing things alone, running alone definitely doesn't help in pushing me along, and when I see my timing, I feel even more like a potato and there goes the next run. I even tried downloading this app that cheers you along the way while you run, but it made me laugh abit too hard till I had to pause after 100m because my stomach was cramping.

And so, there's music. No brainer, but it's really my run-saviour. If there were no music, I don't think I'd ever exercise. I like to listen to music of a different language - thai, kpop, bahasa, etc. Simply because sometimes, I have too many feels whenever some songs come on board and I end up listening too intently at the lyrics till I would most probably trip on even ground.

Thank you electronics for existing. Thank you drums - for beating. Thank you guitar, for shredding.

I'm gonna share with you all, my current favorite tracks to run to (which probably needs some updating soon):

1. DJ BL3ND - CLUB MIX



Don't judge, people. Apparently when I run, I like to channel whatever remnants of my secondary school/JC adolescence and run it out. So, hello CLUB MIX. 10 minutes worth of quickbeats that fits the starting of my run - which is a little slower than the later parts.

2. LMFAO ft. Lil Jon - Shots



Why of course, LMFAO is a must, aye? I usually play this when I'm running on the weekends, before a good night of fun with my friends. HAHAHA. Something like a mindprep. And next one, another ELLEMEFFEHOHHHH.

3. Glee/LMFAO - Sexy and I know It



Glee's version because I get reminded of how good looking Ricky Martin is in that episode. :)

4. Britney Spears - Toxic



Even though I rarely listen to her on a daily, non-exercising basis, she's irreplaceable despite being a little psychotic over the past few years.

5. Far East Movement ft The Cataracs, Dev - Like a G6




6. Avicii ft Skrillex - Levels



I've got a good feeling about this song from the start. Skrillex is pretty awesome for running tracks, even though my friends and I think that at times he sounds like a spoilt modem.

7. G-Dragon - Crayon



No shit, better get my cray-on while running.

8. Glee/Whitney Houston - Dance With Somebody



I wanna RUN with somebody! 

9. Bigbang - Fantastic Baby



I don't know any Kpop bands except most of the groups from YG. And of course Bigbang's Fantastic Baby HAS to be in my running playlist. They have so many other songs that are running friendly! Oh, and it does help when TOP raps and all that flashes through my mind is that he was once fat, but now he's FAB. *motivation*

10. G-Dragon - One of A Kind

 

11. Linkin Park - Given Up




I know the title isn't the best for running. But trust me, this track is perfect for the last round, or the last 5 mins of your workout. It has lyrics containing "put me out of my fucking miseryyy", "I'm my own worst enemyyyyy." Quite apt for the last bit of your runs! JUST BE PISSED OFF, and run your guts off to this track. Tested & Proven by yours truly.
--

Okay, curated by yours truly! :) Hopefully this might inspire some of you guys (and myself) to start running CONSISTENTLY and keep fit amidst your busy schedules! I sound so chirpy about something I'm trying so hard to incorporate into my lifestyle. =/

What are you favorite running tracks? SHARE WITH ME!

So take a chance and don't ever look back.

I die a little everytime I hear this. Not that I want to wear skin tight jeans and let someone put their hands over me. Sometimes it's possible to like a song, without wanting to go through whatever the song is describing. It's possible, trust moi.

Okay wait, before you come an form impromptu judgement about me that is far from reality (not that I care, but still) - I rarely listen to much mainstream music, and the only reason as to why I actually know of these songs because sometimes, a friend's gotta do what a friend's gotta do. My mates enjoy a few good singing sessions too. Pretty impossible for me to sing to Mat Kearney, General Ghost and Stars Go Dim when most of the time, Taylor Swift and Justin Bieber is everywhere.

That being said, I love Glee nonetheless. There, this, I allow you to judge me freely - Gay, girl, that's so last century, gross, etc. Okay thank you for your kind, descriptive words. But find me someone who does such awesome covers of current music + oldies, and maybe, just maybe, I'll tune in and catch up with some mainstreamies.

I haven't even heard Rihanna's Diamond thing song, but everyone has been saying "Shine bright like a diamond"

Therefore, please shine bright like a diamond - if you have removed all that dirt, coal and tar that was on you, since the last time I spoke. I'm saying this because, you know, some people are diamonds in a ruff.

See ya'll soon, hopefully when I'm free from all the shackles of these insane workload.

Love at first play.

Crazy, by Stars Go Dim

These kind of songs never fails to make me go soft inside, and secretly wish that some people, in the future, would say such stuff to me - this is starting to sound like a joke already. This is the kind of song that makes me feel that, maybe perhaps falling in love ain't that bad. You know what, I'll regret this post, but hey, I can't deny that sometimes, such thoughts go through my mind, y'know? And it's the holidays, I refuse to do any work-related stuff when I'm at home, so I drown myself in my own tears while rewatching Grey's Anatomy and I can't help but want a McDreamy too. There's McDreamy, McSteamy and McDog. McDog died already and I cried like a girlygirl. I'm taking all the time in the world to go through G.A because I know when it ends, I'll feel so empty like a part of me was eaten away.

You know what, I need to stop getting attached to inanimate, unrealistic paraphernalia.

But then again, maybe because it's inanimate and unrealistic, that's why I like it alot.

Hope your holidays were good, because mine was. :)

You can take it all, cause I'm gone.

I wanted to tell you guys about my recent obsession with something, but ever since tuesday passed by quietly with my heavy heart thumping out loud throughout the long bus rides I made myself take, I figured that something has to be done.

And then I chanced upon this song.

Tonight is gonna be one of the most depressing nights of my life. The day wasn't any better, but just for the record, I'm gonna make tonight the worst ever by watching a war film and sneak on the chance to bawl my eyes out for everything that has happened recently. And if it doesn't work, I still have another war film to watch. And another.

That should be enough, otherwise, I have to find my Titanic DVD and force myself to look at Jack Dawson fade into the dark waters, never to be lived again, except in the hearts of some. But on the other hand, I'm smelling that Titanic ain't gonna work that well for me because it didn't really happen.

No, Titanic won't make it. I'll let myself read Plath and Hemingway.

I'm all prepared.

So glad you came, I'm glad you stayed.

Sometimes, I wonder how you catch up with me and my fleeting thoughts. I'm not exactly the most sane person around and it's really hard for me to get comfortable with people, but you do just fine. Maybe you're right, I think too much. But then again, but then again, maybe you never caught up with me.

I wish I could tell you how I feel, all the time, sometimes. But I'm glad you came. 

Story of my life.

Nothin' goes as planned.
Everything will break.
People say goodbye.
In their own special way.
All that you rely on
And all that you can fake
Will leave you in the morning
But find you in the day

Oh you're in my veins
And I cannot get you out
Oh you're all I taste
At night inside of my mouth
Oh you run away
Cause I am not what you found
Oh you're in my veins
And I cannot get you out.

Everything will change.
Nothin' stays the same.
And nobody here's perfect.
Oh but everyones to blame.
All that you rely on
And all that you can save
Will leave you in the morning
And find you in the day

Oh you're in my veins
And I cannot get you out
Oh you're all I taste
At night inside of my mouth
Oh you run away
Cause I am not what you found
Oh you're in my veins
And I cannot get you out.
No I cannot get you out.
No I cannot get you.

Everything is dark.
It's more than you can take.
But you catch a glimpse of sun light.
Shinin', Shinin' down on your face.

Oh you're in my veins
And I cannot get you out
Oh you're all I taste
At night inside of my mouth.
Oh you run away
Cause I am not what you found
Oh you're in my veins 
And I cannot get you out.
No, I cannot get you out.
No, I cannot get you out.

Oh no, I cannot get you.